Dealing with loss 10 years on

Loss is something that everyone will deal with at least at some point in their life. It is one of the single most worst thing someone can go and rather hard to recover from. 

I first experienced loss at a rather young age with the death of elderly relatives and though I don't think loss of any kind is easier, the loss of an elderly relative is more understandable than a sudden death as it seems almost expected after a certain age. For me I never understood why people was so emotional or even understood what was happening fully. 

When I was 15 I lost my dad to a terrible disease known as motor neurone. I was at that awful age where I knew what was happening enough to understand but wasn't emotionally mature enough to process the emotions that came with such a big loss. We had 15 weeks from diagnosis to my father passing away and for a 15 year old this wasn't enough time to process the whole situation. 

I was very much a daddy's girl and this was such a shock to the system to not have someone there I expected to be there for years to come. My father was rather young when he died he had only turned 50 the year before. 

At the time these emotions turned to anger at the situation, at the world. I resented the fact that other people had a father while I didn't,  it wasn't  fair it shouldn't have happened that way and I wanted him back!

As I grew up it was the things that I couldn't share with him like my prom, getting into uni, graduating, getting engaged and married that I missed.

Now this year marks 10 years since I lost my dad and though I feel as though I can get through my day to day life I do miss him terribly. He was never there for any of my milestones in my life, he never got to meet my husband or my future children. He never got to see his other grandchildren grow up and he has now become a story that we tell each other at family occasions. He will never be forgotten and he is always in our minds on a daily basis. It has gotten more bearable and we have moved on and instead of stopping our lives,  we live because of them,  we want to make them proud. 

To any one who has suffered any form of loss in your life just know that everyone goes through it and there is no right or wrong way to deal with it. All we can do is make sure it doesn't stop our lives from going forward as they would never have wanted that for us. See it as a purpose to live your life to the fullest in their memory, honour them and make sure they are never forgotten. 

​S